Still Dead

STILL DEAD

I thought it could be done
but now I know it can not
Once you are dead
you are dead
and dead indeed
I thought I could be resurrected
I thought I could kill death
But you cannot live by dying
Two deaths do not make a birth
I thought that he who raised Lazarus
could also raise me
but the dead cannot raise the dead
and I have killed him
I drove the nails into his hands
I hung him on the cross
upon the hill called Calvary
outside the city walls
of Jerusalem
I am also responsible for my own death
I committed mental suicide
I committed the unforgivable sin
of rebelling against the Holy Ghost
Yet the Devil has not purchased my soul
I cannot go into Hell
but neither can I reach Heaven
and I do not believe in Purgatory
so where am I ?

I am a ghost without a castle to haunt
a prophet without a prophesy to preach
a magician without a spell to weave
I am still not alive
I am still dead

© GERALD ENGLAND

Composed: Glasgow, 1st October 1966

Publication

1966 POETIC SEQUENCE FOR FIVE VOICES (Glasgow, St John's)