It's raining harder than ever before
and I left my umbrella on a train
The sun hasn't shone for a week or more
I sometimes think that I'm going insane
The one-way system is taxing my brain
and my seven-year car is far from new
I think my health is going down the drain
I'm so confused I don't know what to do
The policeman said that I broke the law
when I overtook on the inside lane
and the hefty fine really hurt me sore
It makes me wonder if the law is sane
The man who stole all that fish up in Tain
got off without paying a single sou
The whole affair's put me under a strain
I'm so confused I don't know what to do
My life is becoming a dreadful bore
From tobacco and beer I now refrain
but whenever I close my eyes I snore
It really seems to go against the grain
I am losing sleep so my wife Elaine
is planning to buy some drug that is new
for the last lot I've taken them in vain
I'm so confused I don't know what to do
ENVOI
Any advice at all I'll entertain
Please help me, Prince, won't you give me a clue ?
Tell me what will remove this wretched stain
I'm so confused I don't know what to do
© Gerald England
Composed: Glasgow, 1st March 1966
Publications
1987 The Old Police Station (UK)
1997 8 (Internet)
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