I took my wife to a Chinese restaurant to eat;© Gerald England
egg fou yung, sweet and sour, she declined;
said she fancied a nice fat piece of meat
like gammon ham with a juicy rind
A woman always has the right to change her mind
so I got her fish and chips and peas
and then we felt we'd truly dined
Why is a woman so difficult to please ?
Yesterday my wife complained about her feet,
how climbing stairs was such a bind
and how she couldn't stand the heat,
that this year's weather had not been kind
and how for a bit of sun she pined
I went and booked a holiday in Greece
but now she hasn't time I find
Why is a woman so difficult to please ?
Once my wife for a bit of a treat
went to the house of a man who was blind
to clean and make it tidy and neat
but when he stood up and slapped her behind
then found herself in his arms entwined
she said, "Excuse me, I want to sneeze!"
and left with her cheque still unsigned
Why is a woman so difficult to please ?
ENVOI
Prince, when I come home from the daily grind
if I bring her milk she asks for cheese
It's no wonder my face is wrinkled and lined
Why are women so difficult to please ?
Composed: Oldham, 1st September 1977
Publications
1980 THE RAINBOW AND OTHER POEMS (Heckmondwyke, Fighting Cock Press)
1998 Boggers All (UK)
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