
© Gerald England
Composed: Bath, 6th September 1973
Publications
1976 MEETINGS AT THE MOOR'S EDGE (West Kirkby, Headland)
1990 The Affiliate (Canada)
The ice is frozen in upon itself© GERALD ENGLAND
No amount of hyacinths
or pricking roses can melt
There is a hole in it from which blood pours
From the other opening
come waves in cut air
One of the holes is useless
sterile
essence of nothing
The ice is frozen in upon itself
Fire frightens it
sends into panic
Two ducts exude salt water
Shed skin withers
The ingathering of ethanolic drugs
is accentuation of accumulation
But even steady pressure
creates no heat
The ice is frozen in upon itself
The soft breeze gale© GERALD ENGLAND
deposits a patchwork of leaves,
demolishes the trees in rows,
scatters seed
Coloured blooms light a flat field
Fat flowers gyrate in the wind
under a cloud-hidden disc
of questioning warmth
Bicycle tyres tread a gravelled path
There is a sideside wobble
as wheels turn according to gradient
Handlebars are tightly gripped
Scurries of rainfall wets faces
hurrying to many active places,
smears the glass, confuses vision
Claritylack hinders control
In the end a still, small voice
Movement is rapid but unnoticed
Progression's a going ahead from
not forward towards
it is rarely the© GERALD ENGLAND
wisest of women who will
yield by appointment
Sometimes it shatters cleanly© GERALD ENGLAND
along a jagged line
If you are careful,
avoid cutting yourself on the broken edge,
some pieces can be salvaged,
used again
Not all is lost
Sometimes it shatters surprisingly
An unseen starcrack,
a little tension,
the weak point accentuates,
the crack spreads
Finally it breaks
Safest to smash it first,
write off as a regrettable-only loss
But if carelessly you forget
first to anneal it,
the excited state is dangerously vulnerable
to a shattering
at the merest provocation
into many pieces
that fly and cut and hurt,
so that after the impolosion
wounds take a long time to heal
You might never fully recover
All dreams shatter sometime
Meat that is not seasoned© Gerald England
is difficult to chew
is almost tasteless
The seasoning is only an addition
but serves a purpose
brings out the goodness of meat
that might not otherwise
be palatable
Too much obstructs
The heart of the flower
is bee-attracting seed
its sexual need for new
growth to replace the old
The petals bring the beauty
are only frills for noticing
what might not otherwise
be seen
But petals drop off
The bullseye's precision
is but the concentred
eye-directed consequence
of the sequence of circles
each one one removed
from formed location
It is only the tangents that touch
any man may be© GERALD ENGLAND
destroyed by death - the idea
of death may save him
And it was her love© Gerald England
brought forth his joy
who took leave on a forged pass
when a sergeant denied romance
to visit his love the just bearer
of their second child
The joy of their love
negated the army's medical rejection
invalided out meant home
to write to draw to make love
family willing sitters
for fairy-tale illustrations
The fame did not come easy
Harsh critics tore at a sensitive mind
Senility is a hard case
for the young to swallow in the young
And it was her love
that caused more anguish pain
at seeing him drained of the forces
that transformed inspiration
into poetry
She does not talk now
of those days
remembers not the homes that weren't
thinks more of tea rooms
a Chelsea attic a country cottage
and a man whose sickness was Age
Why is it so dark in this theatre?© GERALD ENGLAND
is the play over?
Has the audience gone?
Have the actors left the stage?
Why is this theatre so dark?
Your part in the play is over
The actors are still on stage
There has never been much of an audience
We have written out your part
You won't be replaced,
though there'll be others to follow
We still see the light
The darkness is your last, dying illusion
The experiment was conceived out of two minds not as a game like chess to give further excitement exactness two minds so tuned together they gave birth to a single thought of death And when one died the other knew not only the thoughts of the dying but for just a moment, after the heart stopped, before the blood of the brain congealed, the first telepathed thoughts from beyond the point of death. For a long time he did not stir. Did not then speak but before he went into the sleep that became nonrecovering coma he left two scribbled sheets, the result of the experiment, the sight of infinity. She knew the content of the notes even before they were removed to her handbag. Some weeks later a car crashed on the motorway the driver having fallen asleep at the wheel. Some charred pieces of paper were found in the burnt-out wreckage. There was a half-smile on her face.
I knew of your visit to the blacksmith© GERALD ENGLAND
but did not guess the purpose of your purchase
He did a fine job,
mild steel tempered on an ancient anvil,
sharpened until the edge was no more than a micron thick
It was when you almost blinded me
with the sun's rays reflected in its shimmering blade
that I sensed the symbolism of the sword
There wasn't any need for you to speak
There wasn't any use for me to flee
I've left a bloody stain upon its blade
but you can smile
still in the condemned cell,
unafraid,
without the sword with which you murdered me
It was your kiss© GERALD ENGLAND
that killed me
It meant not love
but death,
a refusal to refuse,
cold, calculated, controlled,
not too much to excite
either passion or resistance
but enough only
to keep your victim
ready for the death
he was to die
in a slow agony
of bitter pain
It was by your kiss
that you murdered me
She is in love with her dream,© GERALD ENGLAND
a dream that has substance
in flesh, blood, bloody flesh
Strong man, rich man, powerful man
Her love is real it is a dream
He is there, knows it, sends her
thousand dollar checks but he
does not send himself
His time can not be spared
from champagne balls,
from the filmstar goddesses
She rejects all other love
for undemanding dreams
that find kisses elsewhere
Her child uncle love
does not need physical gifts
Sex enough from wife number four
He takes only the toiling of her soul
over which he alone has power
Her unhealthy body is her own to give
as bait for others to boost an ego
totally separate from her dream
And when the substance of the dream
dies she will doubtless cry
But the tears won't wash the dream away
The grief will pass when the will's been read
And when her soul is at last set free
will it fly to new aesthetic heights
or fall into remnants of brick and mortar
and the filthy lucre that accrues ?
And will she take another love,
retreat into a comfortable, reliable post,
or live at last and dream no more ?
his decisions might© GERALD ENGLAND
be seen as the reactions
to situations
too busy living© GERALD ENGLAND
in the present to spare a
thought for the future
© GERALD ENGLAND
Woman weep
Weep for your child,
your child who is sick,
your child who is dying,
you child who will die
Weep
But she will not die yet
This sickness is not the end
She will recover from this
But weep woman
Weep
Comfort her too
She needs your comfort
She will not die yet
She was dying
the day she left your womb
She is dying now
Weep woman
Weep
Your child knows
that she will die
She is aware
of her real sickness
of which illness is but physical representation
She will die in other ways first
It is for this you must weep
Woman
Weep woman
The pain you felt in labour
is not to be compared with suffering,
that of she who is dying
but who will not die yet
Weep woman
The tears are for yourself,
you who bore this life
who is dying
Weep woman
Weep
The bed is warm
Your hand is warm
pressing upon hers
The fever is past now
There will be recovery soon
but not for the dying
no door can ever© GERALD ENGLAND
be finally locked whilst there
are keys that will fit
We had our first snow today,© GERALD ENGLAND
she said, in her letter
Winter had been a long time coming
We had waited for it,
expected it for months
whilst shed trees stood leafless,
the wind's bite grew colder,
the nights started in the afternoon
but despite two morning of frost
and the preparations for winter,
it wasn't to be felt in our bones
till now
We had always equated winter with snow
It began with the first snow's fall
and ended with the final thaw
Less time consistent
the snow
for us
was a more practical
definition
than that of any calendar
Gillamoor looked great that day,© Gerald England
the done-heather brown over the hillside,
bare trees exposing the moor to view
Surprise View still surprises
by its continuing ability to do so
The low November sun sought out
the shades as numerous as the
lights of brown in your hair
That day I was not hurtling
down the motorway to meet you
I was cutting over the moors
to the North East's coast
It wasn't you I was meeting that day
but you'd have enjoyed the drive
and the subsequent lunch on the pier
by the sea
I did
I leave you here© GERALD ENGLAND
now
before you leave me
You are about to go
I guess you knew
all the time
just what you would do
You tried so
to love me
but could never be true
with your right foot
in his world
and the wrong one in mine
I go now
before you do
I haven't the strength
to watch you go
I'll make it easy
for your reasoning
to accept your action
without remorse
There will be tears
in several eyes
both yours
and mine
Others will be happy
Six a.m.© GERALD ENGLAND
The full early morning moon
lit my way to you
though the traffic was thick
Away the next morning
Four a.m.
The moon not yet risen
Beyond the city limits
the vehicles I shared
my twentyone miles of road with
numbered only seven
The last seven miles
I was completely alone
but for a cat that crossed my path
The leaves were fallen in the road
Brown windswirled leaves shone up in headlights,
crackled under tyres that trod on leafstrewn highways
The trees, shed now of clothes,
were naked in the dark,
exposed to the searching glare
of lights that shone
not with full intensity
through emotion-clouded glass,
yet clear enough to perceive
the new blossoming
that will occur come spring
So this is Brighton© GERALD ENGLAND
home of Dowdon, George
and sundry other socalled poets of lesser note
The beach is all pebbles
and none of them flat enough for skimming
They have a peculiar way too
of numbering the streets
consecutively up one side
and down again the other
I arrived in the dark
In the morning light I'll leave
There were so many© GERALD ENGLAND
beautiful girls about
walking around
I looked at them all
and thought of you
You were not there
amongst all those
beautiful girls
I could not find you
The motorway had been harsh
the climate warm
until the fog descended
around five a.m.
I could have stayed
but you were not there
I left
made fruitless phone calls
filled the car with petrol,
myself with tea,
drove down to the dead-end coast
watched the ocean's roar
I thought of you
in New York
or flying the Atlantic,
perhaps in Belgium,
in a train or maybe
even back in London now
and looking for me
I need you more than ever now
though you don't know why
nor can
Tomorrow I shall make retreat
to wait some more
but not to stand around
nor to serve for aught
less than return's totality
i could© GERALD ENGLAND
have closed
the door
not let
you go
i left
it open
you left
i had hoped
you might
have stayed
the door
being open
you not
passing through
so as
you go
i only
ask
be careful
how you close
the door
behind
you
I guess I always knew it couldn't be true© GERALD ENGLAND
I only said what I knew I must
Only what I knew in my heart
over which I had so little control
No one told any lies of consequence
We saw the problems as they came
Saw through them No need to speak
of demolition and a falling
I used you like you use Laurie
You used me like Laurie uses you
Not that Laurie came between us
It was just ourselves and you and I
You want my love but need it less
I need your love but want it less
You rebel to try to loose yourself
I rebel to try to find myself
Go hide yourself in the busy city streets
and leave me to the wild high moors
We'll meet again and not by accident
There still will be no need to speak.